“Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.” Frederick Buechner
I had a poo day yesterday.
Right in the middle of all the good glory of our God touched lives we find the joy, give the thanks and keep our closeness to God as the most precious thing we have and yet it is ok to say, that was a bad day. Jesus transforms us from the inside out. A new heart, our world is changed, startling and true but when something is bad we call it what it is. This is what it is to really seek truth: no cover up, no lies, no falsifying the evidence. Let us tell the truth.
Yesterday, I held it together (on the whole). Things did not go as I had planned and when stuff went wrong I was taken by surprise, it put me in touch with fears and insecurities that I thought I had tied up and tidied away.
Yesterday I did the things I had to do, kept most of the pieces of my calm in tact. All the kids got fed and taxi-ed, all the books got marked. When I got home I hid myself under the duvet with a novel and Lucy brought me a scone covered in strawberry jam (the jam was on the top of the scone, because, who has the time to cut a scone in half?) Later the boys lit a fire and we laughed long and drank whisky as the light faded and the worries of the day began to loosen their hold.
This morning I had a little cry and said it out loud, I had a terrible day.