Tonight I need a word to calm my heart.
I go to my room, close the door and open a window to let the bird song in.
All summer the bird song penetrating the quietness makes me think of John baptising Jesus and all of heaven opening up for them there as they stand with their feet in the murky Jordan water. Every day we use our phones and google bird song to listen to recordings so we can know the names of the birds we hear sing. And we learn to match the bird species to the recording of its song. But opening the window on that sound tonight is something else altogether. All that bird song busting open the big skies above whilst I stand here with my feet in the sand.
So, I light a candle and watch the flame. I kneel and pray.
Once again I come like Jacob who wrestled with God and I will not let go until God blesses me. Because I know there is more and this is not all.
I’ve read and prayed and discussed and worried. I’ve marched it all out and passed on to myself a few times now the good advice I might give to someone else.
I sing a hymn quietly. I rest a little in its words and then before me are some new words that I need to hear.
The only place for big worries is in the hands of God.
The only place for great anger and grief is at the foot of the cross.
The only path through hardships is thankfulness.
The only rest for the soul is in the unrelenting goodness of God.